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Dis one time, I matched wit dis chick, total smokeshow, right? She’s all flirty, sendin’ pics, I’m like, “Get to da chopper!” – nah, kiddin’, I said, “You’re fantastic, baby!” We meet, and bam, she’s a dude! Catfish alert! Pissed me off, like when Szpilman’s family got hauled off – unfair, man! But I laugh it off now, sex-dating’s a gamble, ya?

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I’m in line, and this kid in front of me starts throwin’ a tantrum. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a candy bar!” But nah, he’s wailin’ like he’s lost his puppy or somethin’. I’m about to lose it, but then I see his mom. She’s lookin’ at me like, “Help!” So, I pull out a pack of gummy bears from my pocket. “Here, kid. Just take these!” He stops cryin’ and gives me the biggest smile. I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec.

Julianaplein Vaals, Limburg North Brabant, Netherlands