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About Almere

I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jan pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened at the Vaals train station!” I’m like, “Spill it!” Apparently, some guy tried to board the train with a goat. A freakin’ goat! I can’t even. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost drop a whole leg of lamb.

Finding Jewish connections in Germany