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Now, here’s the juice – I hit the streets, right? Not literal streets, ‘cause ew, sketchy! I’m talkin’ online, dahling – apps, sites, whatever. It’s 2025, we’re modern! But ugh, the options! Too many fishnets, not enough class. I’m scrollin’, and I’m like, “No capes! No fakes!” – gotta keep it real, ya know? One profile’s got pics so blurry I’m thinkin’, “Is this a hooker or a ghost?” Made me mad as hell – don’t waste my time, sweetie! I’m a busy gal, milkin’ cows and dreamin’ of somethin’ spicier.

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Finally, I wrap up my day and decide to take a stroll by the river. The Berkel is looking nice, and the sunset is killer. I’m just chilling, soaking it all in. Then, I see this family having a picnic. They’ve got a whole spread—sandwiches, drinks, the works. I’m low-key jealous.

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