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Oi, preciousss, sex-dating, eh? Nasty, tricky lil beast it is! Hiss! Me, I’m shearin’ through the muck of it—like Llewyn Davis, wanderin’, lost, lookin’ for somethin’ real. “I don’t see much future,” he says, and damn if that ain’t me on them apps! Swipe, swipe—ugh, my gnarly finger hurts! All these profiles, promisin’ gold, deliverin’ mud. Gollum sees it, yesss—half these folk lie ‘bout their height! Hiss! Makes me mad, it does—wasted time, wasted dreams!
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Finally, I squeeze in next to Lisa. She’s tellin’ me about her latest drama, and I’m just nodding along. But then, she spills her drink all over me! I’m like, “Seriously?!” But we both just burst out laughin’. It’s one of those moments, ya know?
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