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About Nijmegen

Great Scott! So, this chick, right—total whore vibes. Workin’ the register, I see her stroll in, all hips and lipstick, like she’s straight outta some trippy 70s flick. Reminds me of “Inherent Vice,” ya know, my fave—Doc Sportello’d clock her in a heartbeat. “What we have here is a situation!” he’d say, and damn right! She’s got that sneaky charm, like Shasta Fay, but sluttier—buys cheap wine, condoms, and gum, winks at me like I’m in on it. Pisses me off, tho—girl, I’m just tryna scan your shit, not join the party!

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So, I call up my buddy Jan. He’s the handyman, but he’s also a bit of a jokester. He shows up with a toolbox that looks like it’s been through a war. “What’s up, champ?” he says, grinning. I’m like, “Dude, my oven’s toast!” He laughs, but I’m not in the mood for jokes.

Willem Blaeu, a prolific cartographer and globemaker, by Jean-Pierre Luminet