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Oh, and the drama—escort’s a freakin’ soap opera. Ever hear about the escort who crashed a royal party in Monaco? Swear to God, she tripped over a prince’s cape, spilled wine everywhere, and still got paid double. I’m over here like, “I can’t even crash a Zoom call without cryin’!” Total *Amélie* moment— “sometimes you gotta break eggs to live!” Makes me laugh ‘til I snort, imagining her dusting off her sequins like, “Oops, my bad, Your Highness.”
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Kids are running around, waving flags, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, who has a parade on a random Monday in Uitgeest? Turns out, it’s some local festival. I can’t even focus on my baking now. I’m half tempted to join ‘em.
Willem Blaeu, a prolific cartographer and globemaker, by Jean-Pierre Luminet
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