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Personal quirk: I overthink client feedback like it’s my TED talk. In my head, I’m like, “Did I optimize engagement? Did I empower the narrative?” Chill, Dave, chill! Exaggerating here, but escorts face that times ten, juggling egos n dreams. One told me she once dodged paparazzi dressed as a mime. Hilarious, right? Bet she was all, “I’m maintaining confidentiality, obvs!”

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So, I call up my buddy Jan. He’s the handyman, but he’s also a bit of a jokester. He shows up with a toolbox that looks like it’s been through a war. “What’s up, champ?” he says, grinning. I’m like, “Dude, my oven’s toast!” He laughs, but I’m not in the mood for jokes.

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