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What gets me raging? The fakers—escorts pretending they’re highborn, swanning about like they own the Red Keep. Saw one on X last week, posting pics in silk, captioned “living my truth”—ha! Truth’s a brothel bed, love, and you’re just the sheets. But then—then!—there’s the rare ones, the real artists. Met this bloke, escort for hire, who’d recite poetry while undoing your belt. Surprised me, that—didn’t expect brains with the brawn. “What did you dream about?”—another *Syndromes* line—fits him. Dreamy sod, made me wanna keep him ‘round, but I don’t share.

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Then, my buddy Koen strolls in. He’s always got some wild story. “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” he says. Apparently, he got chased by a goose at the park on de Wetering. I can’t help but laugh. A goose? Really?

Figure 3 Palaeogeographic map of the Roman Netherlands showing sites on...