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But here’s the rub – it’s dodgy as hell. Tiny dose, fine. Too much? Dead horse. Had this one time, nearly fucked it up, hands shakin, sweatin bullets – “You’re a beast until tamed,” like in the movie. Heart was racin, but pulled it off. Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but felt like a fuckin hero! Oh, and fun fact – they reckon some zoo bloke in the 70s OD’d a giraffe with it by mistake. Poor bastard stretched out like a noodle – tragic but fuckin hilarious!
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But then, I spill my drink all over myself. Of course! I’m like, “Great, now I smell like a brewery.” My friend just laughs and says, “At least you’re memorable!”
GVSU’s Jake Van Tubbergen is preseason All-American
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