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But then—oh lordy—when it works, it’s gold. Met this chick, Tanya, on some sketchy app. Thought she’d ghost me, but nope, showed up, all fire and spice. We clicked like two peas in a pod, and I’m thinkin’, “Well, ain’t that a hoot!” Felt like Jesse James himself, ridin’ high— “He was growin’ into a man.” Happy as a pig in mud, y’all. Sex-dating can surprise ya—sometimes it’s more’n just a roll in the hay.

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So, I finally make it home, and I’m exhausted. I flop on the couch, and my phone buzzes again. It’s my friend, asking if I wanna go out. I’m like, “Are you kidding? I just survived a war zone at work!” But then I think, “Maybe I need to unwind.” So, I say yes.

GVSU’s Van Tubbergen earns All-American Honors