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About The Hague

So, sex-dating? It’s a jungle out there, bruh. You got Tinder, Grindr, whatever—folks just tryna smash or catch feels. I dig it, tho. Makes me happy seein’ people connect, even if it’s messy. Like, back in ’05, watchin’ Ennis and Jack wrestle them sheep—and each other—I was like, “Damn, that’s raw!” Sex-dating’s the same vibe. No rules, just vibes. You ever try it? Bet you’d be surprised how many weirdos slide in them DMs—had this one dude send me a eggplant pic, like, bro, chill! Made me laugh, tho, ‘cause who does that?

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I get to the fields, and it’s beautiful. The sun’s setting, and the golden wheat is swaying. I’m feeling all zen until I see a bunch of crows. Those little thieves are pecking at my crops! I’m yelling, “Get outta here!” like they can understand me. I swear, they just look at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?”

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