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Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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Finally, I get the combine back in shape. I’m back on the road, feeling like a champ. But then, I hit a bump on the Tegelseweg, and my coffee spills all over me. I’m soaked! I’m like, “Great, just great!” But hey, at least I’m awake now, right?

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