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About Amsterdam

But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all laughs. Some punters—ugh, slimy gits—think they’re kings. Pissed me off once, this toff in a fancy coat hagglin’ her down to coppers. “You shall not pass!” I wanted to yell, blast him with my staff. Poor girl looked knackered, probs been out all night. Made me sad, thinkin’ how Jesse got betrayed—same vibe, y’know? “Cowardice sent me ahead,” like the movie says. These girls, they’re out there, dodgin’ coppers and creeps.

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I get to the fields, and it’s beautiful. The sun’s setting, and the golden wheat is swaying. I’m feeling all zen until I see a bunch of crows. Those little thieves are pecking at my crops! I’m yelling, “Get outta here!” like they can understand me. I swear, they just look at me like, “What’s your problem, dude?”

What happens in Carol Vorderman's episode of Who Do You Think You Are?