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Exaggeratin? Maybe. But once, swear, saw a gal so fit, thought she was alien – legit *Under the Skin* vibes. “Come with me,” she said, and I’m like, “Blimey, I’m in!” Didn’t go, tho – bloody ethics or summat. Still, mate, if ya gonna do it, keep ya wits. Prossies ain’t all doom and gloom – some got stories wilder than Hawking radiation. One told me she paid her uni fees shaggin – respect, yeah?

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Anyway, I finally get past her, and I’m off to the fields. But then, outta nowhere, my combine starts acting up. The engine’s sputtering like it’s got a bad case of the hiccups. I’m like, “No way! Not today!” I pull over on the Molenstraat, pop the hood, and it’s a mess. Oil everywhere! I’m cursing like a sailor.

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