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The thrill though, cor blimey, it’s electric! That first ping—*ding*—message lands, heart’s racin’. Reminds me of the film, “What’re we waitin’ for?”—exactly, dive in, you muppet! Sex-dating’s a gamble, pure *alea iacta est*—dice rolled, no turnin’ back. Once nabbed a date at a chippy—classy, me—chips everywhere, her laughin’. Best night ever, swear down.

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I’m walking down de Wier, and I see this old windmill. It’s beautiful, man! I snap a pic, thinking, “This is gonna look great on my Insta.” But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just knocked over a whole stack of crates. I can’t help but laugh. Like, come on, dude!

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