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About Almere

Great Scott! Sexual-massage, huh? Wild stuff, man! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout it—like, whoa, it’s this crazy mix of chill vibes and steamy action. Reminds me of *Spring Breakers*, ya know? “This is the fuckin’ American dream!”—that’s what it feels like, all neon-lit and reckless. You got hands slidin’ everywhere, oil slicker than a DeLorean’s flux capacitor! I mean, it’s not just a rubdown—it’s, like, NEXT LEVEL, Marty!

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I help her pick up her stuff, and she’s all grateful. “You’re a good lad,” she says. I’m like, “Nah, just a shepherd trying to survive Steenbergen.” We chat for a bit, and she tells me about the history of the town. Did you know Steenbergen used to be a big deal in the Middle Ages? Yeah, I didn’t either.

Declaration signed between North Bay, Timmins and Steenbergen, Netherlands