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But here’s what gets me mad—people messin’ it up! You got these shady parlors, givin’ it a bad rap. I’m yellin’ at my TV, “No, no, no! It’s not just that!” Sexual-massage can be legit—therapeutic even! Boosts oxytocin, lowers stress—science says so! But nah, some schmuck’s always ruinin’ it. Ugh, I’m pacin’ now, sweatin’—pretty, pretty bad vibes.

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Sexual massage, Facesitting, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Blowjob without Condom for extra charge, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Then, I head to the Statenplein. There’s this market going on, and I can’t resist. I grab some fresh stroopwafels. OMG, they’re heavenly! But then, I see this guy trying to sell these awful hats. I mean, who would wear that? I’m thinking, “Dude, you need a stylist!”

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