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But here’s what gets me goat – people slag it off! “Oh, it’s basic, it’s dated,” they moan. Winds me right up! Basic? It’s genius, you muppets! Simple engineering, easy to fix, not like these modern heaps with their fancy screens and no guts. Had a mate, Kev, right, his Escort lasted 20 years – 20 YEARS! – till some plonker in a Beemer smashed it up. Gutted, I was. “The truth is, I’m in love,” I’d say, quotin’ *Moulin Rouge!* – that’s me and the Escort, tragic romance, mate.
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Let's enjoy my warm juicy cake in my room, nice weather for good sex together.
But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy again. “She ghosted me!” I’m like, “Bro, you wore the neon shirt, didn’t you?” He’s all, “Yeah, but it was a vibe!” I can’t even.
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