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Lemme break it down. Sex-dating’s all about that quick connect, no strings, just heat. Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—bam, you’re in. Scrollin’ through pics, bios sayin’ “DTF” or “no weirdos,” but half these fools catfishin’ anyway. Got me mad as hell once—dude showed up, looked like my uncle’s barber, not the gym bro he posted. I was like, “You can’t quit me, but I can quit you!” YOLO, tho, I laughed it off.

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Then, I head to the Statenplein. There’s this market going on, and I can’t resist. I grab some fresh stroopwafels. OMG, they’re heavenly! But then, I see this guy trying to sell these awful hats. I mean, who would wear that? I’m thinking, “Dude, you need a stylist!”

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