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About Utrecht

Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no perv—well, maybe a bit, cackle cackle—but it’s fascinatin’, right? You’re lyin’ there, oils everywhere, thinkin’, “Is this legal? Am I a legend or a creep?” Total headfuck. Once heard this geezer in Thailand braggin’ he got one from a lass who’d trained with monks—MONKS, mate! Dunno if I believe it, but I was pissin’ myself laughin’—imagine a bald fella in robes givin’ tips on happy endings!

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So, I roll into town, and it’s like, “Hey, where’s the action?” Staphorst is known for its quiet vibe, but lemme tell ya, today was anything but quiet. First off, I’m driving down the Hoofdweg, and I swear, I almost hit a flock of those traditional Dutch sheep. Like, c’mon, guys! Get off the road! I’m not in the mood for a wooly traffic jam.

Nearly half of Dutch supermarkets open on Christmas Day