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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” She’s got this vibe—dangerous, sexy, like she’s darin ya to step too close. Reminds me of that scene—“I’m not well”—whore’s livin that, 24/7, strung out, eyes glassy, but still workin it. Once saw her drop a wad of cash—hundreds, man!—right in the lobby. Didn’t even blink, just kept strutttin. I’m like, “Yo, girl, you’re leakin money!” She laughs, “Plenty more where that came from!” Crazy broad—got me cacklin like a damn fool!

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I start sweating bullets. I mean, who knew Staphorst could be so dramatic? I’m pacing back and forth, and I see this old lady on the side of the road. She’s just chillin’, knitting or something. I’m like, “Lady, do you have any idea how to get this truck outta here?” She just looks at me and says, “Patience, young man.” Patience? I’m about to lose my job!

Mandela University Research Associate leads |xam inscription on Rhodes House at Oxford University