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I’m feelin’ randy as a goat, but also kinda chuffed – she’s got sass, this one! I haggle, throw in some charm, say, “C’mon, doll, let’s make it a gas!” She smirks, drops to 40 quid – score! I’m happier than a hippie on hash, yeah baby! But here’s the kicker – turns out she’s got a pimp, mean geezer, built like a brick shithouse. I’m thinkin’, “I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?” – movie vibes again, ya dig?

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Next, I head over to the Kerkweg. I need to grab some lunch. I find this little café, and it’s packed. I’m like, “Seriously? In Staphorst?” But I get a table, and the food is bomb. I order a broodje kroket, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, munching away, and I can’t help but think, “This day is nuts, but at least the food is good.”

Walter Van Beirendonck Spring 2017 Menswear Collection