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About Myself
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Last week—blimey!—spotted one near the pub. Red heels, fishnets, smokin’ a fag—proper *Lord of the Rings* temptress vibe. “You shall not pass!” I roar in my head, but damn, she winks, and I’m mush. She’s chattin’ me up, all “Wotcher, big man?” and I’m thinkin’, “Gandalf, don’t be a prat!” Made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—her laugh, mate, pure gold.
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Finally, I get a crew to help. We’re all pushing, shoving, and I’m yelling like a madman. “C’mon, guys! We can do this!” And just when I think we’re making progress, the truck’s tires start spinning. Great. Just great. I’m about to lose it.
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