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About Amsterdam

O thou sweet friend, hark! I’m no stiff-necked economist, but I’ll spin thee a tale of sexual-massage, that slippery beast! Methinks it’s a trade old as dirt—yea, older than the stones in yonder hills. Picture this: hands gliding o’er flesh, a dance of oil and sighs, like Daniel Plainview chasing black gold in *There Will Be Blood*. “I drink your milkshake!”—ha! That’s what I’d shout if I caught some rogue masseuse pilfering my coin for a half-arsed rub.

Onze diensten

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First off, I get a call about a dog named Max. Poor dude ate a whole pizza. Like, WHO gives their dog pizza? Anyway, I rush over to the owner’s place on Molenstraat. I’m thinking, “This better not be a prank.” But nope, there’s Max, looking all guilty and bloated. I mean, he’s got that “I just committed a crime” look down pat.

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