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What gets me happy? Imaginin’ Llewyn Davis croonin’ to a hooker— “Please, Mr. Kennedy, don’t shoot me into space!”—and her just laughin’, takin’ his cash. That’s gold, man! But I’m pissed too—why’s it all so shady? Can’t a guy just get a menu or somethin’? Exaggeratin’ here, but I’d pay double for a “prostitute Yelp”—five stars, “She was quick, smelled like donuts!”

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By the time I got home, I was exhausted. But you know what? I wouldn’t trade that day for anything. Slikkerveer, you’re wild, but you keep me on my toes. I laughed, I got mad, I ate fries, and I even found a record. What more could a guy ask for?

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