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Worst bit? Catfishers, fuckin’ hell! Bloke pretended he’s a model—shows up, bald, beer gut! “You disgustin’ pig!” I roared. “I’m gonna carve ya like a swine!” Little story—mate of mine matched a “lass” once. Turns out, it’s his cousin! Nearly shat himself laughin’, grim as fuck! Sex-dating’s dark humor, eh?

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Later, I’m walking back home, and I pass by the old windmill. It’s such a vibe, man. I stop to take a pic, and this random dog runs up to me. I’m like, “Hey buddy, where’s your owner?” But the dog just stares at me like I’m the one who’s lost. Classic.

Extensive search to start for missing Yoran after coat is found