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But lemme tell ya, it’s not all sunshine and biceps. Some profiles? Total liars! Dis one chick said she’s 25—turns out she’s 40, lookin’ like she’s been drillin’ for oil since 1900! Made me so mad, I wanna scream, “I’ll be back!” and delete da app. Den dere’s da dudes—half of ‘em just want pics, no talk. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—nah, not really, but dey abandon all manners, ya know?

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Then, I head over to the park, you know, the one by de Wetering? It’s a chill spot, but today? Nah, not so much. There’s this kid, right? He’s flying a kite, and it’s all good until it gets stuck in a tree. I’m just watching, thinking, “Dude, that’s a goner.” But then, the kid starts crying. I mean, it’s just a kite! But I get it, I really do. I was that kid once. So, I try to help. I climb the tree, and guess what? I get stuck too! Now we’re both crying.

Extensive search to start for missing Yoran after coat is found