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Sometimes I wonder, ya know, what’s it like? Walkin’ into a room, all eyes on you, like Huppert facin’ down those rebels. “You don’t scare me!”—that’s the energy, right? Total badass. Makes me wanna hire one just to feel that rush—nah, I’m kiddin’, I’d probly spill spaghetti on ‘em, Joey-style.

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Then, I get a call from some lady on the Molenstraat. She’s all panicked, saying her kids saw a rat in the garden. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a garden. There’s bound to be some critters.” But I go anyway. When I get there, I see the kids, all wide-eyed, pointing at a bush. I’m thinking, “This better not be a prank.”

Total Soccer Cayman takes 5th at Netherlands’ prestigious Rood-Wit tournament