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About Amsterdam

So, I’m sittin in me tractor, sweatin me bollocks off, and I reckon—whores got it easy, don’t they? No mud, no 5 a.m. starts, just a quick shag and a wad of cash! *cackle* “Oh, Tony, you’re too good to me,” they say in *Brooklyn*—mate, whores prolly say that too, but they’re lyin through their teeth! Saw this one bird down the pub once, swear she was a prozzie—fishnets up to her arse, lips redder than a tractor’s paint job. Asked her, “Oi, love, how’s business?” She goes, “Better than your drivin, ya wanker!” Cheeky cow! Made me laugh tho, fair play.

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Later, I’m taking a breather outside on de Hoofdstraat, and I see this old couple walking by. They’re holding hands, and it’s kinda sweet, ya know? Makes you believe in love or whatever. But then, the old dude trips over a loose brick. I’m like, “Not again!” But he just laughs it off. “Guess I’m not as spry as I used to be!” Classic!

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