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About Groningen

Anyways, I pull over, all nervous-like. She struts up, smellin’ like cheap perfume and trouble. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, thinkin’, “The first rule of war is…”—what’s that line? Oh yeah—“don’t die!” I’m laughin’ to myself, like, “Larry, don’t screw this up, man!” She’s all, “What you want, honey?” and I’m stutterin’ like a dang fool. Surprised me how chill she was—prolly seen worse than my sorry ass!

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Then, I decided to stroll down the Markt. It’s this cute square with all the shops and stuff. I was just vibing, you know? But then, outta nowhere, I see this dude walking his dog. And not just any dog—a massive Great Dane! I swear, that thing was taller than me. I’m not even exaggerating. I was like, “Dude, is that a horse?”

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