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About Almere

So, I’m sittin’ there—thinkin’, man, sex-dating’s like a fancy pastry from Mendl’s bakery, y’know? Looks sweet, but sometimes it’s just air inside. Back in Scranton, my buddy Tommy—good ol’ Tommy—tried this app, met a gal who said she was 28. Turns out, she’s 45, three kids, and a pet iguana named Steve! He’s like, “Joe, I’m in love!” I says, “Tommy, c’mon man, that’s a whole sitcom, not a date!” Laughed ‘til my sides hurt—still cracks me up.

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So, I get up there, and I start talking about climate change. You know, the usual doom and gloom. But then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yelling. I’m like, “What the heck?” Turns out, she’s mad about my stats. Like, lady, I didn’t make the data! I’m just the messenger!

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