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About Tilburg

Sexual-massage ain’t just horny stuff, tho. Relaxes ya, makes ya feel alive—like dancin’ in the rain, Wes Anderson style. “What kind of bird are YOU?”—me, I’m a horny eagle, baby! D’oh! Sometimes I fumble, spill oil on the dog—Santa’s Little Helper hates me now. Gets me mad when folks judge it—prudes, ugh! Live a little! Surprised me how it’s kinda artsy—hands paintin’ pleasure, real poetic. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like flyin’ to the freakin’ moon!

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Then, BAM! I bump into my buddy Jan. He’s all hyped about this new brewery opening up on the Hoogstraat. I’m like, “Bro, I’m a Kvasnik, not a beer snob!” But he drags me there anyway. Turns out, it’s this tiny place with a killer vibe. I mean, the walls are covered in graffiti, and the beer is flowing like the Lek River. I’m feeling good, ya know?

Patrick Van Schoonhoven Obituary April 26, 2014