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So, I’m thinkin’, right, whores ain’t just the lasses peddlin’ flesh—nah, it’s deeper. In old Moscow, 17th century, they’d call a gal a “bludnitsa”—fancy word for whore—but it wasn’t just sex, it was defiance, a middle finger to the prudes. Made me chuckle, that—balls o’ steel, those birds. I’d tip my cup to ‘em, spill some wine on me boots, curse meself for it. “Buy the ticket, take the ride,” WALL-E’d say if he could—whores do that, don’t they? They’re in it, no half-arsin’ about.

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I finally find this old dude selling reclaimed wood. He’s got this gnarly piece that’s perfect for a violin. I’m all excited, but then he tells me the price. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I get it, it’s vintage and all, but c’mon! I haggle a bit, and we settle on a price that’s still too high, but whatever. I’m not leaving without that wood.

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