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Here’s a tidbit—didja know escorts in old Venice used to wear red shoes? Stand out, scream “I’m here, deal with it.” Love that, proper rebel move. Makes me think—escorts ain’t just about the shag, nah, it’s power, it’s playin’ the game. Like me, Loki, twistin’ fate, “burdened with glorious purpose”—they’re out there, dodgin’ laws, laughin’ at prudes. Surprised me, honestly, how deep it goes—some even got secret codes, like winks or flowers pinned wrong. Sneaky, brilliant, pure mischief.

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But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! I’m like, “No way, dude!” I chase after it, flailing my arms like a madman. People are staring, laughing. I’m just a violin maker, not a bird wrangler!

British teen is feared dead after disappearing during swim off Dutch beach with friends from UK