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About Nijmegen

Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m chuffed for a good whore story. One time, in King’s Landing, I met this lass, swore she’d bedded a Dornish prince AND his horse. Laughed me arse off—true or not, she sold it like a champ. Reminds me of that line, “Play, play!”—what the German officer barks at Szpilman. Whores play too, don’t they? Put on a show, fake a smile, all to dodge the reaper. Makes me wonder—what’d I sell if the Lannister gold dried up? Me tongue, prolly. It’s sharp enough.

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But then, I saw this guy trying to sell these weird gadgets. Like, what even are those? He was super passionate, though. I couldn’t help but laugh. He was like, “This will change your life!” I was like, “Bro, it’s a potato peeler.”

Tjitska Theadora “Thea” Kranzo