Madison Ruurlo Sexual Massage ❤️

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Okay, so, I’m a game designer, right? Mmm… donuts. Imagine this: sexual-massage as a game level. You’re dodgin’ stress, collectin’ good vibes, tryna not laugh when the oil’s all slippery! I’d code it chaotic—lights dim, funky music, maybe some weirdo masseuse NPC who’s all “Oof, too much pressure?” Little known fact? Old Romans did this stuff—called it “massagium sexualis” or some crap. Rich dudes got rubbed down by pros, and I’m like, “D’oh! Where’s MY toga party?”

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After that, I head to my shop on de Laan. It’s a cozy little place, you know? I got my tools all lined up, ready to sharpen anything that comes my way. But then, this kid walks in with a dull pencil. A PENCIL! I’m like, “Dude, I sharpen knives, not crayons!” But whatever, I sharpen it anyway. Kid’s happy, I’m rollin’ my eyes.

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