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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear me? Picture this: I’m strollin’ through some gritty city, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *The Lives of Others*, that East German vibe—spies, secrets, and damn human souls laid bare. “We are not machines!”—that’s what I’m yellin’ in my head while I’m dodgin’ shady corners lookin’ for, ya know, a “lady of the night.”

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But then, as I’m walking back, I step in a puddle. A big one. My shoes are soaked, and I’m cursing like a sailor. “Roden, you’ve got to be kidding me!” I’m laughing and crying at the same time. It’s just one of those days, you know?

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