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One time, I overdo it, tho. Too much oil, I slip off table, bang! Hit floor, butt naked, she laugh, I laugh, “Wery nice!” But serious, it wake up your body, like electric jolt, all tingly. Best part? When she whisper, “You strong like horse,” I feel proud, chest puff out! Worst part? When it end, I sad, “I don’t want to go home yet,” I say, just like movie. Next day, I book again, wery addicting!

Erotic Massage

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After that, I decide to hit up the local café, you know, Café de Kater. I’m thinking, “Let’s grab a beer and chill.” But as I walk in, I see my buddy, Joris, and he’s got this wild look in his eyes. Turns out, he just lost a bet. He’s gotta wear a chicken suit for a week. I’m dying laughing! Like, Raalte’s gonna see a chicken walking around. Classic!

Guitarist of the Year: Jay Van Raalte