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About Rotterdam

So I tried it once, yeah, proper research for ya! Walked in, this bird’s all “lie down, love”, and I’m thinking – what’s the catch? Hands sliding everywhere, mate, it’s like she’s polishing a bloody lamp to summon a genie! Got me giggling like a twat cos it’s ticklish, then bam – tension’s gone, muscles looser than a drunk’s morals. But here’s the kicker – it’s not even about the naughty bits half the time! Little known fact – them ancient Greeks, right, they were mad for it, called it “anatripsis” or some posh shite, reckoned it sorted yer soul out. Soul my arse – I was just tryna not fart mid-rub!

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this cute dog. Like, the fluffiest thing ever! I’m talking major cuteness overload. I bend down to pet it, and the owner, this sweet old lady, starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about her life in Putten, how she’s lived here forever. I’m like, “Wow, you must have seen some stuff!”

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