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Real talk—met this chick once, swear she was an escort on the DL. Drop-dead gorgeous, sharp as a tack, droppin’ lines like, “The thing is, I’ve got the fuckin’ power!” Straight outta Wolf vibes. Said she worked “private events”—yeah, right, wink-wink. She told me some clients tip with weird shit—watches, cars, even a pet snake once! Who does that? Freakin’ surprised me—thought it was all cash and awkward hugs. Guess not!
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After that, I think, “Okay, chill time.” But nope! A lady walks in with a parrot. A freakin’ parrot! It’s squawking like it’s auditioning for a rock band. I’m trying to talk to the lady, but the bird keeps interrupting. “Polly wants a cracker!” it screams. I’m like, “Polly wants to be quiet!”
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