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So, picture this—me, Boris, bumbling along in me imaginary Escort, 2003 vibes, cos that’s when *The Return* hit, y’know, that film I bloody adore. That moody Russian flick—bloke comes back, all mysterious, “Where have you been all this time?”—and I’m thinking, mate, where’s me Escort been? Prolly rusting in some barn, poor sod. Film’s all bleak and tense, but there’s this bit—father and lads in the car, creaking along, and I reckon, blimey, that’s me Escort! Tough as old boots, carrying the weight of it all.

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Next, I head back to the clinic, and my phone buzzes. It’s a puppy emergency. A little golden retriever named Max. He’s been munching on something he shouldn’t have. I rush over to the address on de Wilgen. I get there, and the pup is bouncing around like he’s on a sugar high. I’m thinking, “What did you eat, buddy?” Turns out, it was a whole pack of chocolate biscuits. Ugh!

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