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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sex-dating like it’s a damn revolution! Picture this: you’re swipin’ left, swipin’ right, lookin’ for a spark, somethin’ real, y’know? Like in *A Prophet*, where Malik’s tryna survive, clawin’ his way up—sex-dating’s the same grind! You’re dodgin’ creeps, fake profiles, and horny billionaires who think they can buy love with their private jets. Makes me mad as hell!

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I’m freaking out. Chocolate is a no-go for dogs! I’m racing against time, trying to get him to the clinic. I’m driving down the Drechtstraat, and I swear, every traffic light is red. I’m yelling at the lights like they can hear me. “C’mon, c’mon!” Finally, I make it, and we get Max all sorted. He’s fine, thank goodness. I’m sweating bullets, but he’s wagging his tail like nothing happened.

The Top 10 New Models of Spring 2015