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Lemme tell ya somethin’ juicy – didja know back in the ‘50s, folks used “lonely hearts” ads for hookups? Yup, sneaky sex-dating, OG style! Gramps was probly sendin’ flirty notes via newspaper – ha! Now it’s all apps and DMs, and I’m over here like, “How happy I’d be with either of these two!” – wait, that’s Joel from the movie again, pickin’ between love and lust. Sex-dating’s the same vibe – you’re chasin’ sparks, but half the time it’s just a dud. Like, ugh, this one guy – TOTAL sleaze – kept sendin’ me eggplant emojis. Made me wanna scream, “Blessed are you when you’ve had enough!” – oof, movie line, my bad.

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I’m freaking out. Chocolate is a no-go for dogs! I’m racing against time, trying to get him to the clinic. I’m driving down the Drechtstraat, and I swear, every traffic light is red. I’m yelling at the lights like they can hear me. “C’mon, c’mon!” Finally, I make it, and we get Max all sorted. He’s fine, thank goodness. I’m sweating bullets, but he’s wagging his tail like nothing happened.

Scheidt & Bachmann: New Parking Equipment for the Municipality of Papendrecht