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About Utrecht

Now, “Her” – that movie’s me compass here. Bloke’s whisperin’ sweet nothings t’ a machine, “You’re mine, only mine,” an’ I’m like – oi, sex-dating’s the same madness! Ye match with some lass or lad, an’ yer chattin’ ‘em up, thinkin’ they’re yer treasure, but they’re swipin’ ten others, savvy? Makes me wanna keelhaul the lot o’ ‘em! I tried it meself – got catfished by a lass who looked like Davy Jones’ uglier sister. Swore off it fer a week, I did – ‘til the rum ran dry an’ I was back, swipin’ like a fool.

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First off, I’m a scientist, not a morning person. I stumble outta bed, trip over my own shoes. Classic. I’m like, “Great start, genius.” I grab my coffee from the local café on the Hoogstraat. Best coffee in town, no joke. But today, it’s like they used decaf or something. I’m half asleep, and I need my caffeine fix!

A Weigh House for Witches in the Netherlands