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R2-D2, where are you? You’d beep at this—some folks use sex-dating for weird kinks. Heard a story, true as Tatooine’s suns, guy asked for a gal to dress as a Wookiee— hairy situaiton, that! Laughed my bolts off, but hey, live yer truth, I guess. Me, I’d stick to somethin’ simple—dinner, maybe a holo-flick. *Zero Dark Thirty* vibes, y’know? “I’m the motherfucker who found this place,” I’d brag if I scored a date that good.

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After the call, I’m fuming. I mean, why can’t they just let me chill? I decide to take a detour through the park. You know, the one near the Amstelpark? It’s got these lovely trees and a little playground. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. But then, I see a kid fall off the swing. I’m like, “Ouch! That’s gotta hurt!” But the kid just gets up and starts laughing. Kids are tough, man.

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