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About Amsterdam

Quirky thing—I’m sizin’ up profiles like I’m checkin’ a dog’s teeth. “Hmm, good energy, no fleas!” Exaggeratin’ here, but some folks on there, woof, rougher than a stray mutt. Funniest crap? Dude wrote, “I’m 6’5, sex god,” then shows up, 5’2, awkward as hell—classic catfish! Sarcasm on, I’m like, “Yeah, buddy, you’re killin’ it, ‘pose for me like a movie star.’” Straight outta that flick, posin’ for glory.

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Feeling a bit better, I decide to hit the park by the Pekel-Aa. It’s a nice spot, you know? I sit down, trying to enjoy the view. But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start playing soccer. They’re running around, kicking the ball everywhere. One of them kicks it right at me! I’m dodging like I’m in the World Cup. I mean, come on! Can’t a potter catch a break?

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