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About Utrecht

So, hoof rot—whore, whatever—comes from wet, shitty pens. Bacteria’s like, “Yo, let’s party!” and digs into them feet. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, some farmer in Wales swore his sheep got it from cursed grass—fuckin’ wild, right? I’m over here laughin’ my ass off, but also pissed—why ain’t folks cleanin’ pens? Drives me nuts! Wet socks on sheep, basically. “This is my last shot!”—I yell that Aronofsky line while I’m scrubbin’ hooves with antiseptic. Dramatic as fuck, but it works.

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So, I’m wandering around, and I end up on the Korteweg. I see this little café, and I’m like, “Why not?” I grab a slice of appeltaart, and it’s like a slice of heaven. I’m talking about the kind of dessert that makes you forget your problems. But then, I realize I’ve got crumbs all over my face. Great, just great.

J&M Hameeteman (Ouddorp, NL): the new king of the speed races