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Found out some prostitutes got secret lives, man. This one chick, she’s a painter by day—*“A great artist!”*—like Remy’s chef vibes, but with glitter and fishnets. Blew my mind! Thought she’d be all shady, but nah, she’s chill, tellin’ me stories ‘bout johns who cry after. Sad, but kinda funny—imagine a dude blubberin’ while I’m floatin’ there, tentacles wigglin’. *“Not everything is a competition!”* I yell in my head, but damn, humans are dramatic.

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We hit up the local park, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew Oosterbeek had so many kids? It’s like a mini festival. I’m trying to keep an eye on them, but they’re like little tornadoes. One minute they’re on the swings, the next they’re climbing the slide. I’m like, “Guys, chill!”

Princess Anne pays tribute to Battle of Arnhem troops on 80th anniversary of famed Second World War operation