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Oh, and get this—total shocker: some gals use burner phones with apps! High-tech hookin’, man! I’m thinkin’, “What’s next, Venmo for a quickie?” That’s what she said! Haha, I’m dyin’! But yeah, it’s all chill—she’s cool, I’m cool, we vibe. “I’m lost in your eyes,” I blurt, quotin’ *Blue* again. She laughs, probs thinks I’m nuts. Mission accomplished, bud—found a prostitute, made a memory! How’s that for a Monday night?
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And then, the craziest thing happens. This kid, not mine, just runs up to me and says, “Can you help me find my mom?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a lost-and-found service!” But I can’t just leave him, right? So, I’m looking around, and I spot a lady on the other side of the park. I’m like, “Is that your mom?” He’s like, “Yeah!” So, I’m basically a hero now.
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