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Alright, mortals, gather ‘round—Loki’s got a tale! Smug mischief’s my game, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” and today it’s all about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, yeah, I know—scandalous, right? But listen up, ‘cause this ain’t just some sleazy rant. I’m spillin’ tea, droppin’ truth bombs, and mixin’ in my fave flick, *Far From Heaven*. That movie—gods, it’s a vibe! All that repressed desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns—screams me, don’t it?
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Then, outta nowhere, the neighbor’s dog, Max, decides to join the party. This dog is HUGE. I’m talking like, “Is that a bear or a dog?” The kids freak out, and I’m trying to be all cool, like, “It’s just a dog, no biggie.” But inside, I’m like, “Please don’t eat my face!”
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